How do you play it cool?
Basically, you try to manipulate the person with the power to accept or reject you. You try to beat the odds to ensure you won’t be rejected by lying about what you actually think and feel. You may care desperately that you are accepted but your actions and words must appear casual, unconcerned, distracted, disinterested, fearless, and relaxed. You must seem strong, confident and in control. Because that is the essence of the cool strategy – control. You control the situation by appearing indifferent. You must not let an employer or love interest or other potential acceptor know how badly you want to be accepted. That would incur a major loss of Cool Points. No, you must never appear over-eager, needy, desperate, desirous, soft, nice, open, or available. You don’t return messages right away. You always appear terribly busy. You project the image that you are already over-flowing with acceptance. One measly game of Rejection Roulette doesn’t make a difference. You don’t need anything or anyone because you are armed with the power of cool. In fact, you’re so cool, you’re the one who’s doing the accepting. And for a high-level cool player, the trick is in turning the tables. You actually convince others that you are the acceptor.
Why do so many people play it cool?
The growth of the cool strategy is mainly due to the many guides out there that insist it is the only way to master Rejection Roulette. There are countless websites and books that profess that playing hard to get helps you avoid rejection and ensure acceptance. They tell players that having needs or desires is a ghastly affliction that will horrify a potential acceptor. It doesn’t matter that the acceptor likely has needs and desires as well. The advocates of the cool strategy advise players to fake it. Honesty is for losers in the game of Rejection Roulette.
Why does the cool strategy seem so absurd?
Players can become so consumed with scoring Cool Points that they don’t just play hard to get – they play impossible to get. They’re not just cool – they’re downright cold. These high-level cool players manage to turn a simple game of Rejection Roulette into an intense role-playing power game and forget the whole point was to get accepted. They so relish their reversed role as acceptor that they end up rejecting everything. And they wonder why they find themselves alone once again. You see, the absurdity of playing it cool is that it can actually increase your odds of being rejected. It’s not a particularly effective strategy if you’re looking to be accepted by a warm, sensible person who seeks sincerity and honesty. Not all people want what they can’t have. Cool players attract other cool players and those who play mind games rarely achieve happily ever afters.
How do I deal with someone who is playing it cool?
The key thing to remember is that when someone is playing it cool, this person is quite scared indeed. It’s likely this player has suffered from a lot of rejection and never healed properly. Now that doesn’t mean you should necessarily stick around if you’re being treated with disrespect. Nor should you embrace a cool player when s/he vanishes and reappears with some lame excuse about being busy. For some people, cool is really an excuse for being rude. “Playing it kind” is a far better strategy than “playing it cool.” It means you are gracious toward the person you are playing Rejection Roulette with and accept that s/he has a different perspective than you. So even if you are convinced that you would be perfect for the job, relationship, team, or role, try to remember that you are not the only one playing the game. It’s not all about you and what you want. It’s silly to get angry at someone for deciding for whatever reason to reject you. We’re all free to choose. That’s part of the game.
And when you realize that rejection is just part of life and you can’t avoid it by playing cool, you’ll be able to find the funny, have fun and look forward to the next round of Rejection Roulette. Have you ever played it cool? Did it help you get accepted or rejected?