EMAG OF EFIL: Mission 1 – Awareness

Emag of Efil Mission 1 - Question EverythingQuestion everything. This is your first mission. Like all 8 Missions, the first one can seem simple but it has many layers. Life is like an onion and questions help you peel it. Like an onion, there can be tears if you just slice away without being mindful but it is also delicious when sautéed with some olive oil. Not that one should avoid tears. They are part of the experience. So is the olive oil. Bon appetite.

What? Seriously? That’s the first mission? Why? What does it mean? Where do the onions come in? Who do you think you are? Are you crazy? How can that possibly help me upgrade my system? What is the meaning of this?

And so it begins. Feel free to fill in your own queries. Those were just a few to get you started. Remember, this is all a Game and the 8 Missions are empowering you to hack it. Questioning is the way to access wisdom. And knowledge is power. Really. You’ve heard that before because it’s true. In fact, you may find yourself saying “duh, I’ve heard that before” a lot when you play EMAG OF EFIL. And that’s because you needed to hear it before. Now you’re hearing it again because you clearly didn’t pay enough attention before. The way the Game of Life works is that you will receive information over and over and experience the same events until you master them. Then you can move on to the next level.

Why should I question everything?

Asking questions is the way to activate your awareness. You have to open your mind to initiate the upgrade program. The challenge is figuring out which questions to ask. Life is a learning Game. Some say it is a massive game of Hide & Seek. The truth is hidden and we must seek it. That is our purpose here. Others say the Hide & Seek game is part of a larger Mind Game and this Multiverse is made up of layers and layers of games like a massive onion. The Onion of Crazy. Wait, we already did the onion bit. How about a strudel. That’s got layers and it won’t make you cry. The Multiverse is one massive strudel of absurdity. (Note: The Strudel Theory was first proposed by Theodore Charles Jullip in 1588.)

But we’re getting ahead. We don’t want to boggle your mind with answers right now. That’s not the purpose of EMAG OF EFIL. This game is to inspire you to ask your own questions and seek your own answers. To discover who you are and the meaning of your life. Mission 1 kick-starts the whole process.

Can I question some things but not others?

You can do whatever you choose. We all have free will in the Game of Life. You don’t have to do anything. You are a free spirit. That’s one of goals of the 8 Missions – to help you realize that you are free to be and do what you choose. However, to receive the full benefit of Mission 1, there can be no exceptions to questioning. You must be willing to question everything about yourself and your world. This includes your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, behavior, assumptions, past, present, and future. It also includes what you’ve read, heard, seen, and been taught. Everything. Once you start, it will be impossible to stop.

Game Awareness

But won’t questioning everything open a can of worms?

Questioning everything can open cans of worms, expose quantum wormholes, and help you worm your way into new realities. It’s all good. The 8 Missions always operate for your highest good. They’re a hack to help you accelerate your positive learning path. Questioning arms you with information. It boosts your strength. Yes, it can uncover things but that is the point. What you hide creates havoc. One of the goals of the 8 Missions is to allow you to step into your full power so bravery is going to be required. You’re hacking the Fear Program that’s been holding you back thanks to your Bogus Self. If you prefer to avoid dealing with what comes up and want to just hang with your BS then this isn’t the game for you. You’d be better off with Solitaire. It’s not as much fun and won’t blow your mind but it may distract you for a while. EMAG OF EFIL is the opposite of distraction. It’s about opening up to the Life you are meant to lead. First, you have to build up your character and remove all that is blocking you.

Isn’t this incredibly foolish?

Absolutely. We are sharing the ancient secrets to becoming a free spirit and mastering the Game of Life. The 8 Missions are an initiation into the Way of the Foole. All of the Missions will challenge you to think, feel, and grow. They will take you out of that place you’ve been hiding in. That place you’ve been stuck in thinking it was your fate. The 8 Missions will introduce you to an awesome expanded Gameworld that’s been waiting for you. It all starts with questioning your reality.

Can I question the act of questioning everything?

Yes! That is how many players earn their first #foolepoints. By questioning the act of questioning, you are engaging in counter-programming. You see, you have been programmed not to question. You’ve been taught to follow the leader, teacher, parent, boss and celebrity spokesperson. To do what you are told. To be what you see. To want, desire, feel inadequate without buying things and changing to be like everyone else. You’ve been taught that there is a character state called “normal & happy” and it is reached by doing what you are told. By obeying the rules of others. By believing without thinking. Questioning is the act of a rebel. Questioning is what awakens your mind and begins to free it from the BS programs that are controling it. Questioning allows you to access the higher level of happiness that comes from within you without money, things or magic pills.

How do I question everything?

We recommend starting with the basics. What? and Why? Questions are like mushrooms. Or rabbits. They multiply rapidly. Asking one will lead to more. The first step is to ask questions about all the things you ignore. Then you ask questions about the things you think you already know the answers to. Then you ask questions about the things you want to know the answers to but didn’t dare ask.

The 3 Key Questions

When you’re ready for the Big Questions then there are three key ones that unlock high level information. Be aware, these are powerful questions that can unlock a lot of information. Ask the Big Questions only if you are ready for big answers.

 

Who am I?

Why am I here?

What is the meaning of this?

Ask the Big Questions and the answers will start pouring in from all directions. There are other Big Questions but these are the key questions that unlock everything else. This is a major Game of Life hack. De nada.

What happens after I question everything?

After you learn to question, you must open up to the answers. They can come from unexpected places. Messages, books, billboards, pictures, movies, TV, road signs, graffiti, random strangers, and other content. Remember, everyone is a teacher and everything is instructional in the Game of Life. Be open to information. Be aware that much of the info is coded and your mission is to decipher it. Also, be sure to question the messages when they appear. Whatever the source of your information, question it. Some info will be helpful and some will be BS. Developing your BS Detector is how you improve your navigation and boost your Life success. This is a challenging Game. It’s not easy but it’s ridiculously rewarding.

How do I know when I’ve completed Mission 1?

You’ll never actually complete Mission 1 or any of the 8 Missions. You just feel ready to move onto the next mission. When you feel like you’ve reached a state where you’re comfortable questioning everything and you’ve unlocked info that is making your head spin then you’re ready for Mission 2. Because once you’ve started the Cosmic Q&A, it’s time to Find the Funny.

You’ll need to submit your Mission 1 Report first to earn #foolepoints before you move on to Mission 2. Post your Mission Report with description of how you questioned everything with photo or video (if relevant) on Facebook, Instagram and/or Twitter with #emagofefil #foolepoints #8missions

Good luck! May the foolishness be ever in your favor!

Click here for info on how to play EMAG OF EFIL and submit Mission Reports.

 

 

Categories: 8 Missions, Emag of Efil Missions, Foole Points, Play Emag of Efil | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

EMAG OF EFIL: The 8 Missions to Hack Life & Boost Happiness

emag-of-efil-8-missions-to-hack-lifeAre you looking for a way to change your Life? Have you tried to “play the game” but found it fake, frustrating, and unfulfilling? Does the self-help-transformation stuff out there seem way too woo-woo and serious? Well, now there’s another option: The 8 Missions.

What are the 8 Missions?

The 8 Missions are a strategy to help you hack Life. They’re highly effective. But only if you don’t take them seriously. The 8 Missions are a playful method to majorly upgrade your system. They’re based on ancient tech and proven by modern science so they’re not just a bunch of foolishness. But rest assured, they’re quite foolish indeed. In fact, the 8 Missions are the most foolish Game of Life hack ever released.

How do the 8 Missions work?

The 8 Missions help you bypass your BS programming and level up. They guide you through a process to clear out old files, free up space, defrag your brain and body, access hidden memory, download new software, and install an open source program that boosts your positive processing power. The 8 Missions empower you to lighten up, let go, and liberate yourself from BS. They teach you the tricks to bypass your negative Bogus Self so you can generate and sustain positive energy. (Not the fake smile I’m fine but I’m not kind of positive energy. The real I’m feeling awesome like my true self kind of power.) By enhancing your abilities, the 8 Missions allow you to perform at full capacity. They empower you to be more aware, resilient, free, balanced, grateful, joyful, connected, and kind. The 8 Missions help you build your character and boost your well-being so you can live at a higher level. You’ll still face challenges but they’ll no longer become set-backs. Life becomes a more fulfilling adventure, a profound learning experience, a series of opportunities that you create. The 8 Missions make the Game of Life easier to master and more fun to play.

Why are they called 8 Missions?

We call them Missions because all potential recruits must complete them in order to be considered for secret agent status. All secret agents complete missions. But you could call them quests if you prefer. They’ve also been called the 8 Riddles because they have many layers of meaning. We will provide clues about how to approach each mission but you must decide what they mean to you. The Foolish Wisdom hidden in this Game can only be accessed by direct experience. So be open and prepared to hack your own mind. Crazy 8 is a magic number that helps unlock the Cosmic Joke. The 8 Missions will challenge you to think and feel and grow and learn new ways of being.

emag-of-efil-8-missions

What are the actual 8 Missions?

The 8 Missions are as follows. Be aware, they may appear as total nonsense when you first encounter them. That is quite deliberate. Encoded in the 8 Missions is an upgrade sequence that bypasses your every-day BS thinking. This type of nonsense code allows you to access a new program that we call the Way of the Foole. All agents must learn the Way of the Foole in order to level up in the Game. We know you’re up to the challenge. That’s why you’re here. We’ve been expecting you. So, without further ado, here are the 8 Missions:

  1. Question everything.
  2. Find the funny.
  3. Lose your mind.
  4. Balance out.
  5. Give thanks a bunch.
  6. Play to learn.
  7. Connect the polka dots.
  8. Give a hoot.

What do I get when I complete a mission?

Each mission allows you to earn #foolepoints and enhance your character skills.

The missions help you hack your programming and free yourself from the BS. That’s the Bogus Self who can feel stuck, frustrated, fearful, angry, miserable and hopelessly lost and alone in this absurd existence. EoE is a happiness counter-program that allows you to free your mind, body, emotions, and self.

Although they can be completed out of order, each mission requires skills built in the previous missions. As you move through the missions you level up your Awareness and Freedom.

What is the purpose of #foolepoints?

Life didn’t have an easy point system until now. Earning #foolepoints is way easier than Cool Points or Brownie Points or Status Points or One Up Points.

#foolepoints is the code to let other players know you are playing EMAG OF EFIL and have initiated your system upgrade

#foolepoints are code for Free Points. You earn them by thwarting Trolls and their icky programming. By posting your #foolepoints, you let other EMAG OF EFIL players know that you are hacking your system and upgrading to a higher level. This simple act of rebellion helps inspire others to wake up and override their programming. But if anyone asks, this is just a silly game to help you be happier and is not a covert operation to train you to be a secret agent.

Can you give me a hint about how to fulfill the 8 Missions?

We will be providing posts with helpful tips on how to fulfill each mission. In the meantime, here are some clues to get you started. Remember, the 8 Missions are about shifting your state of being so think of them as the 8 Be’s.

  1. Be aware.
  2. Be resilient.
  3. Be free.
  4. Be balanced & grounded.
  5. Be grateful.
  6. Be joyful.
  7. Be connected with others.
  8. Be kind.

Each mission builds on the previous one and gives a boost to your being. When you reach the core of each mission, you’ll be ready for the next one. As your questioning gets deeper, you’ll need your humor to handle whatever comes up. When you glimpse the absurdity of the world, you will be ready to free yourself from Bogusworld. Once you lose your programmed mind, you will need to find healthy balance and get grounded in this reality. After you manage that feat, your True Self will be filled with gratitude and ready to go enjoy your Life. It will then naturally be time to connect with others who are playing the Game at the same level as you. This leads to fulfilling your purpose which starts with practicing the Golden Rule.

8-missions-hack-reality

How do the 8 Missions upgrade my system?

The goal of the 8 Missions is to enhance your character so you can enter the higher levels of the Game. As you become clearer, stronger, lighter, healthier, happier and more purposeful you will find the Game of Life much easier to navigate. In fact, you will find that it becomes a whole new Game. The 8 Missions help you optimize your biobot and enhance your abilities so you can perform at full capacity. You’ll actually be reprograming yourself in order to integrate new coded information that will allow you to level up. The 8 Missions expand your mind capability, enhance your sensors, balance your emotional meters and bio-system, and launch your advanced character mode. It’s a bio-psycho-spiritual reboot that allows you to play the Mega Game.

The missions help you hack your programming and free yourself from BS. This Bogus Self programming is what can make you feel stuck, frustrated, miserable, hopelessly lost and alone in this absurd existence. EMAG OF EFIL is a happiness counter-program that allows you to free your mind, body, emotions, and self from the negative BS that’s infected your system. Once you choose to play EMAG OF EFIL and fulfill the 8 Missions, you’ll learn the secrets of Humorism to become a reality hacker. You’ll discover how to embrace your perfectly imperfect nature and celebrate your flips, flops, and fails like a pro. With only 8 Missions, you can learn the secrets to experiencing peaceful abundance and becoming a free spirit.

Warning: EMAG OF EFIL can make you go funny in the head.

watch-your-head

 

Fulfilling the 8 Missions will empower you to access truth files and free your mind. Of course, the Trolls don’t want you to access the truth because it will set you free. And they are not fans of freedom. So, if anyone asks, tell them you’re playing a silly game. That it’s some sort of joke. Do not tell them that you’re upgrading your system so you can become a secret agent reality hacker. When they ask why you have that sly smile on your face, just tell them it was something you 8. If they laugh then perhaps they are also ready to upgrade. If you think they’re secret agent material then you can give them a link to EMAG OF EFIL. That would actually earn you points for Mission 8. But we recommend that you start with the first mission.

Warning: The Trolls don’t want you to master the 8 Missions.

warning-beware-of-trolls

If anyone asks, just tell them that you’re playing a foolish game. No need to mention that you’re training to become a free agent for an ancient top-secret organization known as the Temple of the Cosmic Joke. Definitely do not tell them that your goal is to think, feel, behave and believe independently. And best not to share that you’re hacking the Fear Program so you can be a free spirit and enjoy your life. The Trolls don’t want you to know any of this. They want you to stay asleep under their control in Bogusworld. It’ll be our little secret that you’re accessing powerful tools to set yourself free and initiate your Happiness Program. So, come join our outrageous game and we’ll all hack this BS together. Welcome to EMAG OF EFIL!

You probably have A LOT of questions right now. Excellent. That means you’re ready to question everything. Click here for Mission 1. We’re delighted you’ve chosen to play EMAG OF and master your world. Life is a Game. You can hack it. Good luck!

Click here for info on how to play EMAG OF EFIL.

Click here to access Mission 1.

 

Categories: 8 Missions, Emag of Efil Missions, Game of Life Hacks, Play Emag of Efil | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Emag of Efil: The 8 Missions – Time to Play

top-secret-confidential

The time has come to reveal our first mission.  But before you accept this mission, please read our Game Info and Terms & Conditions so you know what kind of nonsense you’re getting into.

Consider yourself warned.

The Way of the Foole is filled with outrageous challenges.

You will need to keep your wit about you.

May the farce be with you.

Categories: Discover | Leave a comment

Welcome to the new Emag of Efil Blob

Foolish Pride Blog

What’s the meaning of this blog?

Welcome to our blob. We were instructed to create a new blog but it has become more of a blob so that is what we call it. I am T.C. Jester and I am a Complete Foole. I know some of you are thinking that’s impossible. There are many fooles out there but no one has achieved Complete Foole status. Well, my friends, I am proud to say that I have earned enough Foole Points to level up. And you can too. I have been playing the Game for a long time but 8 years ago I discovered a secret strategy to hack it. A strategy so powerful that it changed my Life. A strategy so secret that it’s been suppressed for thousands of years. And I am here to reveal it to you.

Why reveal the secret strategy now?

There are far too many players inside the Game who are unable to hack Life. Over 300 million players in our Gameworld suffer from low Happiness levels. The majority of players also have low Health meters. Studies show that 95% of players are stuck in a state of illness and can’t fully function. Life is so difficult that 800,000 players choose to exit the Game every year rather than play another day-cycle. Something is seriously wrong with our world if that many players are unable to successfully navigate Life.

Now the reason that so many players have weakened characters and can’t understand their Life purpose is that we’re running BS programs that block us from leveling up. We’ve been blocked from accessing important Life-changing info about how the Game works. We’re stuck in Survival mode or we’re thoroughly distracted from reaching Game Awareness if we have managed to level up. We’re being blocked from fully experiencing Thrive. We don’t know that our Gameworld is infected with a BS mind-virus that traps players at low levels of the Game. We have no clue that this malicious malware is preventing us from reaching Game Awareness. We have no idea that we’re all inside a massive multiplayer learning simulation. We don’t understand that we’re supposed to receive a steady stream of challenges to help us master the core curriculum. And we have no idea that Life is absurdly hard because the lessons increase in difficulty to help us continue to learn and evolve our characters.

Well, someone of us have a clue. We found ways to reach Game Awareness and figure out how to counter-hack the virus. We learned how to boost our Health and Happiness levels. We also learned the secret to become our True Selves and move up to higher levels of the Game.

We’re not keeping it a secret any longer because the fate of our Gameworld is at stake. When players are sick, miserable and distracted from their learning paths, the Game becomes corrupted. Our collective energy is needed to come back to Life and return to a state of full-flourishing-flow (F3). This is a mega shift that needs to take place. Something has to be done to change Gameworld. Something outrageous. Something only a group of fooles would dare to do.

What is the secret strategy?

Well, it’s been known by many names. It’s ancient info that was discovered thousands of year-parts ago. It allows you to hack the Game of Life and level up. We call it EMAG OF EFIL. It’s so ridiculously simple that it will make you laugh.

What is EMAG OF EFIL?

EMAG OF EFIL is an alternate reality game (ARG) where you complete 8 Missions to level up your Life. Some say it’s really a multiple reality game (MRG) to blow your mind. Others say that it’s a covert operation run by the Temple of the Cosmic Joke to hack our reality and prevent the Trolls from winning the Global Domination Game. That’s total nonsense.

Your secret strategy to hack the Game is a game?

Yes. The only way to truly learn is by experiencing. We’ve created a learning mod inside the Game. It’s an educational hack to put our Gameworld back on track.

How did you learn the secret strategy?

It took many years of desperate determination and lots of dumb luck. I had to face a huge number of challenges and screw up over and over. I failed, flopped, and f**ked up. I was crazy bad at Life.

While living in Australia, I discovered the Temple of the Cosmic Joke and realized I was already following the Way of the Foole. I became a translator for their esoteric book of Foolish Wisdom which explains that our entire existence is an educational game and Humorism is the path to mastering it. They call it The Temple of the Cosmic Joke Book of Utterly Useless Really Unhelpful Don’t Bother It Will Only Confuse You and Make Matters Worse Don’t Say We Didn’t Warn You Game Info. It’s a terribly confusing book that makes complete nonsense and makes you go funny in the head. So, I was instructed to make it easier to read by turning it into a story about faeries and trolls for young people. The first book is called Emag of Efil and the second is Way of the Foole. It was pretty obvious to readers that these were hacker guides to Life so the Temple told me to download the third book called Mega Manual without the cover story. Some parts of Mega Manual are included in this blob.

After I was initiated into the TCJ, I was taught ancient transformation techniques to rapidly upgrade character and expand Game Awareness. When I discovered the trickster power of laughter to shift energy, my upgrade to Cosmic Jester was complete.

Guided by a team of mentors in multiple realms, I created a project to activate and inspire people to let go of BS, take back their power and lighten up. Now I share the Joke through EMAG OF EFIL. As a former depressed drone who learned how to Find the Funny and create a Happy Life by completing the 8 Missions, I can verify that they work. Having discovered the secret, I am devoted to helping others master the Game of Life and earn #foolepoints by collectively changing the world. My current mission is to activate and inspire others to hack reality so we can all lead a more peaceful, joyful, playful, free-spirited existence.

Why is this strategy better than other Life strategies?

It’s more fun.

How do I play EMAG OF EFIL?

Complete the 8 missions in order to level up. Then you can join an elite team of players who are…well, we can’t reveal that at this time. Rest assured, it involves high level reality hacking. Or not. We can neither confirm nor deny such things.

Why should I play EMAG OF EFIL?

To make a Complete Foole of yourself.

Why would I want to do such a ridiculous thing?

Because it’s the secret to upgrading your system. You see, we’ve been taught that feeling like fooles means we’re losers. We’ve been programmed to fear our own foolishness. But that’s bogus. The foole is actually the most powerful player character in the Game. The foole is a free spirit. That’s part of the secret. The foole is fearless. The foole takes risks. The foole speaks truth. The foole dares to face challenges and laugh them off. And the foole has the power of positive energy. Because the foole is armed with a powerful weapon. Humor. It is the 8th sense and the one that can help you hack reality.

Do you really believe this strategy can change the world?

Yes. We know it sounds foolish but we are a group of fooles. This strategy isn’t new. It’s just been suppressed. The missions are based on proven techniques to transform players and shift them back to a Positive Life Path. These techniques have been used for thousands of years and are being rediscovered and validated by modern science. Some may decide this is total twaddle but we hope you noodle your way through the nonsense.

How can I learn more? How do I play EMAG OF EFIL?

Come join us on this foolish adventure as we play the Game of Life through the prism of the Cosmic Joke. We’re thrilled you’re ready to play the real Game. It’s time to tackle the 8 Missions and join us. Welcome to EMAG OF EFIL. One game to hack them all.

Categories: 8 Missions, Emag of Efil Missions, Foole Points, Foolish Wisdom, Game of Life Hacks, Humorism, Play Emag of Efil | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

EMAG OF EFIL: Make a Foole of Yourself

 

******************

*   TOP SECRET *

******************

SUBJECT: OPERATION OOFLE

BRIEFING DATE: 1 April 2018

* * * * *

MEMORANDUM FOR MISSION PARTICIPANT

Dear Person of Uncommon Sense:

You are hereby authorised to proceed with all due speed and caution upon your undertaking. Hereafter, this matter shall be referred to only as OPERATION OOFLE. As a member of OPERATION OOFLE, your participation will involve a series of Humorist Missions in escalating difficulty and import. These missions will be referred to as ‘games.’ Along with your fellow agents, you will ‘play’ these ‘games’ in order to ‘earn’ enough collective ‘points’ to ‘level up’ to the next ‘assignment.’

Your advancement in the [dis]organization depends on your level of achievement. Should you prove yourself to be a Complete Foole with exceptional skills, you will be considered for the Mega Agent Program. Be aware, many new agents believe they can wipe everyone else off the MAP but you will fall off the MAP if you try to blow anyone off the MAP. You can put yourself on the MAP if you are willing to MAP out a plan. Also, the MAP is very difficult to access and must be read upside down.

Should there be a breach in security, the existence of OPERATION OOFLE will be denied. There is no EMAG OF EFIL Project and you are not part of a global counter-Troll operation. This is all nonsense. We are not real. The Temple of the Cosmic Joke is in your head. Play well. Good luck.

Signed off by:

The Fooles

 

 

Categories: Emag of Efil Missions, Play Emag of Efil | Tags: , | 15 Comments

Emag of Efil Mission: Hack Loneliness

Magritte's Lonely Rock

Loneliness is one of the greatest challenges in the Game of Life. It’s also one of the greatest absurdities. Everyone faces loneliness at some point. It can appear at any level of the Game and even when you think you’ve conquered it, the monster reappears in all its slimy, nasty glory. Some say loneliness can’t be eliminated, but there are tricks to thwart the beast and keep it at bay.

What is loneliness?

Loneliness is a clever creature. It can attack anyone at any time—at home or in public, at school or at work, when you are by yourself or with others, whether you’re famous or not so much. This is one unpredictable ogre. It knows how to get under your skin without even touching you. And it can cause unbearable pain. When this fiend attacks with full force, you feel like you want to die. But you won’t. Loneliness can’t actually kill you. It can make you feel awful, though.

Like any pernicious predator, loneliness looks for those who are isolated and pounces. And the twisted part about becoming a victim is that it’s partially your own fault. Loneliness only preys on those who are vulnerable. If you’re strong, confident on your own and enjoy being alone sometimes, the monster will pass you by. Loneliness only attacks those who are scared of it. This mutant feeds on fear. If you fear loneliness, it will find you. Really. It’s like a heat-seeking missile of misery.

How can you tell someone has been attacked by loneliness?

Although everyone battles loneliness at one time or another, they don’t always recognize when others are facing it down. Someone can be attacked by loneliness right in front you and you may not even notice. Why? Because players try to hide their loneliness battles. Sounds strange. It is. Even though we all battle loneliness, we pretend we don’t. We fear the weaknesses that attract the monster will repel other players. That’s the absurdity. We each fight loneliness alone because we’re scared to let others know we’re being attacked. However, if we were honest about it and banded together, the demon would be defeated. That’s part of the Cosmic Joke. We’re all alone together. It’s one of the things we have in common that actually unites us–the fear of being alone.

How do you beat loneliness?

The bad news is that loneliness can’t be destroyed with just any turbo-charged weapon. The good news is that it can be defeated if you learn the tricks. These maneuvers have been mastered by all high-level fooles and now the secrets are being passed onto you. Be warned, they’re not easy and take lots of practice but you too can banish the brute. First, you must be brave. Loneliness smells fear and eats anxiety for breakfast. You need to be able to stare the hideous monster in the face.

Next you must understand the nature of loneliness. This terrifying beast that causes so much distress does not actually exist. That’s right, it’s not even real. And the moment you realize that it doesn’t actually exist, it will vanish. Now this is not a simple feat. When loneliness confronts you with its jaws gaping wide, slime oozing from its long, pointy teeth, you will have trouble denying its existence. But that is precisely the moment, you must say “HA.” Tell the monster that you don’t believe in it. Tell it to go away.

Show you mean business by calling in back-up. Grab your phone and dial up a friend. If no one is home then get out of the house. Run. Escape the scene. Loneliness can’t run. It just kind of rolls in like a fog. And loneliness can only attack one opponent at a time so go where there are other people—other friendly people. Loneliness attacks players who are physically or emotionally separated. The monster has been known to attack couples who are together but fighting. It’s very important that you be with other players who you get along with if you want loneliness to retreat. When loneliness attacks while you’re in public, find a friendly soul. Seek someone with a smile and strike up a conversation. If loneliness is bearing down on you, deploy a well-timed joke. This monster can’t stand humor. Laughter will cause it to flee.

Can you avoid loneliness?

Yes, you can learn how to be alone without being attacked by loneliness. “If you are lonely when you’re alone, you are in bad company,” said Jean-Paul Sartre who clearly had battled the monster. Many artists have fought this horror and survived to tell the tale. Some say it’s required of all who wish to understand the Game of Life. Those who befriend the monster are the most foolish players of all. They don’t avoid loneliness, they dance the tango with it.

How do you help someone who is being attacked?

Once you have conquered your fear and danced with the demon, you can help others. Look for the signs. Victims often seem tired, shoulders slumped, head drooped, worn out by the constant fight. They appear to stare into space but are silently confronting the monstrosity looming over them. In fact, the best way to recognize someone battling loneliness is that he or she is alone. A friend disappears without any contact. A stranger sits separated from everyone else.  The person may try to fake it but no one prefers to battle loneliness over making a new friend. Studies have shown that relationships are key to health and happiness. And not cyber-pseudo connections but the real-world-give-a-hug sort.

Your Mission

The following is worth bonus #foolepoints:

Tell us about a time when you battled loneliness, made peace with it and watched it disappear. Or go fight it right now. How did you do it?

Share a story about how you’ve helped someone else beat the loneliness beast. Or go find someone who needs back-up and help them conquer the monster.

Post your Mission Report on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter with #emagofefil #foolepoints #8missions

Categories: Emag of Efil Missions, Play Emag of Efil | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Don’t Be a Foole

No Laughing

 

Don’t be a foole. People say this to each other a lot. It’s a common warning that appears across many cultures. People seem to agree that being a foole is a very bad thing. But why? What are they really saying?

 

Don’t do whatever you’re about to do.
Don’t be stupid. Or silly. Or strange
Don’t look different.
Don’t be awkward.
Don’t behave that way.
Don’t be odd. Or weird. Or unique.
Don’t ignore what others think.
Don’t challenge.
Don’t break the rules.
Don’t fall. Or flop. Or fail.
Don’t go your own way
Don’t be a free spirit.
Don’t believe in something.
Don’t follow your dreams
Don’t feel strongly.
Don’t fall in love.
Don’t take a risk
Don’t reveal your true self.
Don’t rock the boat.
Don’t make a mess.
Don’t ask questions.
Don’t think for yourself.
Don’t speak out
Don’t say what you really think.
Don’t challenge authority.
Don’t be bold. Or brave. Or fearless.
Don’t be optimistic.
Don’t appear crazy.
Don’t care so much.
Don’t laugh.
Don’t joke.
Don’t reveal the truth.
Don’t try to change the world.
Don’t you dare.

Because people might laugh at you.

Seriously? So what? Let them laugh. And think. And be inspired by your foolishness. Those who tell you not to be a foole are scared. They belong to the cult of cool which convinces everyone to conform. But the joke is that non-conformists lead more interesting lives. So don’t try to be cool. Be a foole.

 

Categories: Discover, Foolish Wisdom | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

How to Hack the Corporate Game

Banksy-not-a-race Want to know how to win the Corporate Game? You can’t. Really. It’s impossible.  The Corporate Game is a mind-boggling battle for power and money. Millions of people spend much of their lives playing and they never even come close to winning.  The odds are stacked against you.

Why play?

Great question. Seems obvious. If it’s such a horrid game, just don’t play. And yet this can be a difficult game to avoid. Some people play as part of Survival — they need to earn money to pay for basic necessities. The lowest level players grind away in factories in far parts of the map. For these players, the game is harsh and can even be fatal. Players at higher levels toil away in offices at the opposite side of the game map.  They want to collect money and level up. These players believe the Corporate Game can be won. Even though they lose. Over and over. But they keep playing.  Why?  The small wins. The temptation of leveling up. Players call this “climbing the corporate ladder” when they actually do get promoted to the next level. And a “Rat Race” when they don’t. There is something strangely compelling about this game even though it makes people feel like they spend their lives grinding and never see gold. The absurdity is that no one really likes it. Well, most players don’t. There is an elite group of players who enjoy the Corporate Game. That’s because they control the game. They control most games. And make Life miserable for the rest of the players. We call them Icks.

Corporate Game-Masters

The key thing to understand about Icks is that they play for power. It doesn’t matter which game they’re playing – School, Family, Relationship, Work – their goal is to dominate others. Icks are obsessed with power because it’s the only thing that makes sense to them. Everything else is nonsense. Friendships. Professions. Laws. Love. Happiness. These are silly distractions that make their opponents weak. And everyone else in Life is an opponent to these anti-social personalities. Icks play for power because they’re bored. They have no bliss. No calling. No desire to make a difference in the world. They can’t understand the elation of inspiration or the pleasure of collaboration. They can only control those who do. Icks are masters of the Corporate Game because they are ruthless and excel at deception. They appear to care about their organizations but they really view people as resources to be increased or eliminated. They pretend to care about products and helping others but they just want to be shown the money. Because it buys power.

Why is the Corporate Game so challenging for the rest of the players?

It’s an Ick game based on lies.  There are written versions of the Rules, Goals, Roles, Levels, and Point System but the game is actually played by unwritten rules.  Anyone who tries to play by the written rules won’t level up. So people try to become more like Icks so they can get promoted. This is called ‘learning to play the game’ or simply ‘politics.’ Politics is the grand game of manipulation on a mass scale. Corporate Politics is a power battle on a slightly smaller scale. But the goal is still to control as many people as possible.

Really, why would anyone play this bizarre game?

You don’t have to play. You can drop out. Join a smaller company committed to its mission. Start your own company. But if you’re really daring, you can stay and hack it.

How do you hack the Corporate Game?

Be the opposite of an Ick. Be honest. Be kind. Believe in what you do. Have a sense of humor. Help others find the funny. Truly care and treat people as fellow beings. Force the Icks to follow your lead because otherwise they’ll seem fake. Show them that doing the right thing is actually rewarding. Be empathetic. Icks are thoroughly confused by empathy. Connect with your co-workers. Icks don’t know now to build real relationships. Be happy. Icks are baffled by joy. Be passionate about your work. This amazes Icks because commitment is totally alien to them. Let your bosses believe you’re just a foole. Rulers think they control their jesters but they never do.

There are many ways to hack the Corporate Game. Here’s one that we like. But we hope you’ll also come up with your own. Tell us about it here. Earn 100 Foole Points.

Good luck!

Categories: ICK & Troll watch | Tags: , , , | 1 Comment

Dating Game Decipher: Vaporships with Disappearing Future Fakers

Portrait_of_Dr._GachetHave you ever thought you were starting a relationship with someone but it turned out to be imaginary?  That person seemed to be what you were looking for. Said all the right things.  Flirted and flattered and filled your head with a romantic fun-filled future.  You bantered and connected and it felt so easy.  He talked about your life together and made you feel amazing and adored.  She told you everything you wanted to hear.  And even though you normally use a cautious strategy when playing the Dating Game, you trusted someone you barely knew.  You revealed more than you usually do. You were intimate way too soon.  You were eager and available and open and honest.  You wanted to believe this time it would be different and you could ignore all those silly made-up “rules.” Because they aren’t really rules, just another strategy that may work for some people but not you because you’re different.  You’ve finally figured out how to win the Dating Game and level up to the Game of Love. It’s just a matter of meeting the right person.  Someone who’s smart and funny and nice.  The mythical unicorn that you’d always hoped existed.  Someone who also laughs at the rules and sees the absurdity of all the games people play. But then the special someone simply vanished. And you were left feeling confused and foolish.  Has this ever happened to you?

Well, you’re not alone. This is so common that there’s a name for it: VAPORSHIP. Just like vaporware (the product that’s promoted and doesn’t actually exist), there are relationships that are completely fake. But here’s the thing, you’re not crazy for thinking there was something there. You were led to believe it. You were manipulated into believing it. And you probably gave more than you would have to someone you barely knew because you fell for the false advertising. It was an irresistible song and dance. How could you not fall for it?  It was personal propaganda designed just for you.  You were supposed to think it was real.  And you wanted to believe it was real. That’s why Dating Game players fall for seemingly special someones who dangle fake futures before their eyes.  That’s why they fall for the vaporship ploy.  They want to believe it’s real.  But it’s not real. It never was.  Mr. Right was actually Mr. Right Now Because I Find It Amusing to Play With People’s Minds and Your Mind Will Do Until I Find Someone Else to Mess With.

People who tell you what they think you want to hear in order to get you to do what they want are manipulators. If they withhold truth or bend it, that’s still lying. That’s still icky. If you dig deeper, you’ll often find these people lie and deceive in many aspects of their lives. And they’ve left a string of dazed and confused daters in their wily wakes.

So how do you play the Dating Game without falling for fake future vaporships?  Trust your intuition.  If something seems strange, it is.  If someone moves too fast and acts too familiar too quickly, he may be hoping you can be lured in before you recognize he’s playing you. Look for actions and don’t be lulled by words.  Masterful manipulators know how to make nice people behave against their better judgment.  It’s all part of the game to them.  They have nothing but contempt for normal people who feel real emotions.  They see us as weak.  We are prey.  They gleefully take our hearts, minds, and money.  That’s why we call them Icks.

Alas, there are no unicorns in the Dating Game.  Don’t rush to level up to Love.  It’s not a lightning round.  It takes time.  There are no rules and no guarantees either.  Fortunately, there are many decent players out there with lots of helpful advice on how to avoid vaporships (though they give it other names). To save you time, here’s a brief synopsis:

Be cautious.  Trust yourself.  Question everything.

And give yourself Foole Points for falling for a vaporship:

** If you’ve ever bought a vaporship from an Ick, give yourself 50 Foole Points.

** If you vowed it would never happen again but it did, give yourself 100 Foole Points.

Categories: ICK & Troll watch | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Game of Life Hacker Manual Now Available as eBooks

So this happened. On the Day of Fooles.  We planned to release the first two EMAG OF EFIL ebooks into the wild with much fanfare.  It was the perfect way to celebrate the auspicious occasion. We were very excited indeed.

FoolVogtherr

Until we discovered that it takes 12+ hours for the titles to actually appear in the Amazon store. We earned many Foole Points for that epic fail.

So the first two volumes of the Game of Life Hacker Manual are now ALMOST available as ebooks. And SOON you’ll be able to download the books that have been called “Harry Potter on crack.” IN A MATTER OF HOURS, you can learn how to harness the power of the Cosmic Joke to play the Game. BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, you can discover the secrets to the Foolish Mysteries and go funny in the head. JUST A LITTLE MORE TIME and you’ll be able to get the books that will make you question everything. IN A FLASH, you can learn how to level up from meaningless mini-games to the mind-blowing Mega Game. EVENTUALLY, you’ll be able to discover that humor really is the best Game strategy.

Okay. We really have no idea when the ebooks will be available. In the meantime, we suggest you go play a nice reality hacking game.

And even more Foole Points were earned for the worst marketing job ever.

88 #myFP

[BLOBBER’S NOTE: Emag of Efil ebooks are now alive!  Seriously.  Well, they’re not at all serious.  But they are now available. You can get them here.]

 

Categories: Books, Discover | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment